Review: Stars Are Blind – Paris Hilton

Wealthy heiress and socialite, Paris Hilton has long been rumoured to be keen on a career in popular music. As early as two years ago, news spread like wildfire that she was planning to create and release an album which would serve to strengthen her position as multimedia goddess and icon of the mid 2000’s nekulturny.

It is perfect that this woman’s first moves into the public consciousness were with stimulant-dulled eyes as she preformed fellatio on a ‘stud’ known by some as a pornographer and by others as the son of a Warner Bros. executive. How marvellously apt that she earns royalties from perverts and misogynists who wish to purchase a film of her uninspired and loveless copulation.

So to the single, a ‘reggae-influenced’ mishmash of this season’s popular sounds, floated over by an autotuned and yet perversely tuneless girl’s voice. Everyone knows that girls can’t sing. This landmark song, completing Hilton’s trajectory from banal, ubiquitous dog-carrier to banal, ubiquitous model/actress/singer/whatever has, I’m reliably informed, been compared to both Gwen Stefani and Blondie. Ms Stefani’s 2005 song, ‘Rich Girl’ springs to mind, if only for the sensation it induced of a fatuous and self-important airhead making stupid people believe that what she thinks is in some way valid or interesting. Stefani and Hilton are both rich girls, so who cares what they think?

The lyrics of ‘Stars Are Blind’ are, on the whole, as stupid as the song’s title. I quote:

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine

Forgetting that we’ve already seen ‘hers’.

Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride
But when I walk their talk is suicide
Some people never get beyond their stupid pride
But you can see the real me inside
And I’m satisfied, oh no, ohh

Paris Hilton is a girl whose every wish can become reality. Her separation from ordinary life is what made her such an amusing and disgusting ‘character’. Her lack of character made us treat her with less contempt than she might have received for being an utterly contemptible person. But now, the tables have turned. Paris Hilton is no longer satisfied with the dull and unconsidered ambivalence of hundreds of millions of people; she wants, she needs their love. And she’ll get it, because she’s Paris Hilton.

‘Stars Are Blind’ stormed into the US single chart at #18 in June. 0/1

11 thoughts on “Review: Stars Are Blind – Paris Hilton

  1. Now be honest Tom, is this an attempt at getting your page hits up? let’s face it, Paris Hilton has replaced Pamela Anderson as the number 1 search term. I guess me mentioning Paris Hilton AND Pamela Anderson twice here should help you along nicely 😉

  2. I hope you didn’t buy it man cause then the joke is on you. Neil is probably right about the page hits though. Writing about perverts and topless sunbathers has really brought on the traffic, for me at least. paris hilton may be a soulless debutante but she knows how to sell her self: “secretly” leaked porn tapes, blondeness, vapid oxicoton fueled stares, more porn tapes …. there’s some hits for you.

  3. Actually, I saw the video on Channel 4 (via satellite: I’m such an ex-pat) and felt moved to read the lyrics to make sure I had them right. The video was impressive too. Much like her previous film hit, ‘One Night in Paris’, it’s as appealing and sexy as a skinned rabbit in Caprabo. It looked like it had been filmed on a tropical island somewhere but at times I felt that there was a fakeness to it which wasn’t being radiated by the grinding couple in shot. I think it was a ‘green screen’ shot actually.

  4. I have actually seen one night in paris, and I would say your appraisal is right on, maybe the only thing coming close is the half developed egg yolk i saw in the market today. i’m really curious about the video now

  5. Well I hope that I haven’t hyped it up too much. It’s just shit, really.

    Pamela Anderson was mentioned by another commenter. Well, she has married again on a yacht off St Tropez. Lovely news for her. All I could focus on was the first sentence of the BBC’s coverage of the story:

    Actress Pamela Anderson has got married for the second time, on a yacht off the French resort of St Tropez. (my italics)

    Is this correct? I can’t help but refer back to my English lessons as a schoolboy in which I was taught that ‘get’ could almost always be replaced by a better, more precise and pleasing verb. In this case, it could be replaced by nothing and the sentence wouldn’t sound like tripe.

  6. Do you guys like Paris Hilton or not? Here in my country people laugh often with her because they think she's dumb. I don't think she's stupid, I think she's a great model! Her acting isn't so very good though…

  7. bn parısı cokkk sewıorum veree 2 kıbıde cokk gusel basırıların dewamını dılerım turkıyedn serkan

  8. Serkan – forgive me, but would you please repeat that in English?

    It must say something about my own cynicism but I am worried by any comment containing the words “2 kıbıde cokk”, “cokkk” and “gusel”.

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