Jesus says No! to crack

Legendary moon-faced junkie, Pete Doherty (pictured below), has a new-found determination to kick his multiple drug addictions. According to ‘sources‘ (read: grubby-handed drug-heads desperate for cash so they can get their pipes filled with magic rock crystals), Doherty has been visited by Jesus in a dream.

The son of God (Jesus, not Doherty) commanded the rockstar (Doherty, not Jesus) to kick his heroin and crack-cocaine habits. Apparently, Pete is now determined to get clean, give his money away and get baptised as soon as possible.

Portugal may not be exactly the best place to do it though. While God is definitely there, so are crack and heroin. It’s one of the few places worldwide where all drugs are decriminalised.

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